Wednesday, October 29, 2008
our angel baby
So, I found out I was pregnant on Monday, October 13. What a happy day that was!!! Chris and I wanted to keep it a secret until we got my blood test results back to see what my numbers were. Got the results last Wednesday, numbers weren't good and I was in extreme pain with all the signs of a miscarriage waiting to happen. My doctor put me on bed rest because she thought there might be hope to save the pregnancy. I went over to my parents house and told them. Not the way we wanted to tell the family but since I had been put on bed rest we figured we better say something fast. We had a special way to tell our families all planned out but that didn't happen (this time). I had two more rounds of blood tests on Thursday and just waited and waited until Friday came. My mom came up and spent the day with me while we waited for the call from the doctor. It wasn't the call we wanted but we were prepared. My numbers had gone down and I ended up losing the baby last Wednesday, I was 6 weeks. Totally broke our hearts. I felt like a hermit crab all weekend. I didn't want to talk to or see anyone. Not like me at all. It seemed like every thing we watched on tv had babies and pregnant women. We couldn't escape it. I really can't even describe the way I feel. It's like part of me has been taken away and is missing. Something Chris and I have individually dreamed of since we were kids was taken away. We know and trust that this was part of God's will for our life. It's so cool and comforting to know that we will get to hold our little angel baby one day in Heaven. God knows the desires of our heart and He is going to bless them in His timing. Our hearts and arms long to be full and one day soon they will be! Can't even tell you how excited we are to one day be parents and raise our children up in the Lord. We have the most incredible family and friends. Their love has brought so much joy and comfort to our hearts this past week. Our house is filled with the sweetest notes, flowers, food.. messages. God is so good and His love is amazing. Please continue to lift us up in prayer as I go back to the doctor tomorrow for more blood tests and will continue to do so until the day I give birth! Love you sweet friends. Thank you for everything.