Tuesday, November 11, 2008

grandma

I set today aside for grandma and me. Between the busyness of life and my selfishness, it had been 6 month since I had seen her. Ever since the passing of my pops, my grandma has not been the same. She has been in a deep depression and doesn't want to do anything and is very hard to talk to. I find myself on my knees praying that God will give me the strength to talk to her when I pick up the phone to call her. I've been struggling with it. I call her once a month which is terrible and the last time I saw her was around Mothers day. My grandma has been in my prayers everyday and guess what?! They are being answered!! She actually let me come over and spend the day with her today. Every time I have called her to say I want to come over to spend time with her she has denied me (since the passing of Pops). It broke my heart because I longed to spend time with her. I knew in my heart it wasn't that she didn't want to see me or because she doesn't love me. Her heart has been hurting and she has been dealing with issues of her own. I begged her yesterday to let me come over today and she wasn't sure about it so she had me call her back this morning to make sure she was feeling ok. God answered my prayer and she said to come on over! (Thank you Lord!!) I had been praying about our visit and asked God to show me what to take to her to bring her joy. Flowers came to my mind then I remembered that she can't have flowers in the house because her cats eat them, thought about baking her something and remembered that she hasn't been eating much and then I got it! It was the Kenny G Christmas cd! Grandma loves Christmas just as much as Mrs. Clause and I knew it would bring her joy! I also had $20 in my wallet and I knew that was supposed to be for grandma somehow. I prayed the whole way up to Riverside about our visit and prayed that God would show me what I was to use the $20 for. Got to grandmas house and had an awesome visit with her then we went to Red Lobster for lunch. We have been going there since I was 10, its our favorite place to go together. Our lunch hour was filled with love and laughter. We talked about all the great things God is doing in our life and looked back on all the blessings and memories from the past. We talked about grandpa, cried a little and thanked God that he is now with Jesus, cried a little more! Then we talked about the future and all the wonderful things we have ahead of us. It was nothing but a blessing. She wanted to do a little shopping (which she hasn't wanted to do in years!) So we went and had a great time. It was so clear to me what the money I had in my wallet was for! I was to buy her a cd player. She didn't have one so we marched over to target and I got her a cd player and a couple Christmas candles for her house. I got the player all set up once we got back to her house and we sat in her living room and listened to kenny g Christmas for about an hour. It was so cool. I sat in my usual spot on the couch while grandma was in the kitchen. It hit me while I was in my spot that my pops wasn't there. I know that sounds so dumb when he has been with Jesus for almost 9 months but sometimes it doesn't seem real. His big comfy chair was empty and all his crazy little doo dads he had around the house are no longer there. I stayed strong so grandma wouldn't see me upset but it just made me realize how short life is. We need to cherish each day with those we love. I love my grandparents so much and I am SO thankful for the time that I get to spend with them. Grandma didn't want me to leave and she kept telling me how happy she was that I came over. It gave her the lift that she needed and we made some goals for her to get her out of the slump she is in. She is going to beat this depression because Christ is on her side and because she has a family who loves her and is not going to let Satan get a foothold in her life! God is answering our prayers and to that I am thankful!! My heart is so happy! Thank you Lord for giving me this opportunity. God bless my grandparents.

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