Friday, December 4, 2009

With very heavy hearts

Chris and I had to say goodbye to our precious Riley after 2 very short yet wonderful years on Wednesday night. I don't even know where to begin... As you know he was in the hospital from Sunday-Wednesday. Chris picked him up at 5pm on Wednesday evening and I knew something still was not right when he walked in the door. The minute Riley got in the house he ran to his box and tried to go potty and nothing came out, He was straining all over the house, just like he was when he was blocked up. We monitored him for a few more hours. I laid on his rug with him in our room and tried to give him his "water treat" but he would not take it. My heart slowly started to crumble because I knew our boy was still sick. I was able to get him to eat. He was starving and came home so skinny. I cleaned up his belly a little bit which was an absolute mess. Needless to say Riley was miserable. He was still blocked up, he was irritated from the catheter and his arm was shaved and bloody from his IV. I did the best I could to get him comfortable. By 9pm he was not getting any better so Chris called the hospital and took him back down. I told Riley I loved him and couldn't wait until he came home all better. Come to find out, Riley should have never been discharged. They didn't pull his catheter until 3pm that day, they never monitored him to make sure he could go to the bathroom on his own. We knew that taking him back meant that he was going to have to have the big surgery that would clear up this problem forever. We were on board and were ready to have our boy all better. Chris and I crawled in bed around 10pm after we put Kate down and 10:20 we received a terrible phone call from the hospital. They told us that they needed to do surgery on Riley right away because they thought he had a tear in his bladder. We gave them the go ahead and the doctor said that he will call when surgery was over to tell us how it went. He also said that he would call during surgery if the problem is worse than they thought. Chris and I laid there in tears and prayed. 30 minutes after that conversation with the DR, Chris' cell phone rang. My heart fell to my toes, I knew what was happening. I buried my head in my pillow and just cried out to the Lord to protect our hearts and to bring peace to this situation asap. Chris walked in and I knew what had happened. He told us that there was a tear in his urethra and it was pretty much impossible to fix. If they did try to fix it they would have to cut open his pelvis and there was no guarantee that they would be able to fix it. The recovery would also be terrible for him. Let alone, he would still need the big surgery to clear the blockage. I can't even tell you what a terrible feeling it was. Chris made the decision and told them to let him go. It was the best thing for our precious Riley. He was the greatest cat ever. He didn't deserve to suffer one more minute. I can't even believe I'm typing this. It still doesn't seem real. Just when I thought I cried all my tears there are more. Chris held me close for hours and we just cried. and cried. and cried. We got him 2 weeks after we got married. He was all we had for 2 years. He was like our son. We called him son. I know this might sound ridiculous to some people who don't understand what it's like to have a bond with an animal you love but we loved that little guy. He brought us so much joy and comfort. He had a great life and he knew he was loved. That's what we have to keep reminding ourselves. We did everything we could to help him but I guess Jesus needed him more than we did. My heart is just a super sensitive one and I can't help but want to save every lose animal I see. I have saved so many and it just kills me to think that I couldn't save our own. Our hearts are hurting so bad right now but we do know that God will heal this hurt and emptiness soon. Our house is far too quiet right now. I miss not having him follow me everywhere and cry when Kate cries. We look forward to finding another precious fur ball soon but we know that nothing will ever replace our Riley. I need to end this because I am sitting here in a puddle of my own tears again. If you would, please pray for this hurt that we have...





1 comment:

Rachel M. said...

Oh dear Nikki...I will be praying for you. I totally understand what you are feeling, because our hen Cole died Wednesday night. It is soo terribly hard to see a dear pet pass away who you have so many fond memories of....
Our Abba Father places our tears in a bottle and cries when His children cry, and will hold you ever so close..
Love and blessings always,
Rachel