Tuesday, January 12, 2010
can't hide my heart.
I realize that I have been holding a ton in when it comes to Kate and her infection site. I have been worried sick about her. I am doing my best to be strong for her but inside I am sick to my stomach. Every diaper change (which is about 5 an hour) makes me want to cry. I hate the infection and the hemangioma. It does not belong on our precious baby. I hardly use the word hate, but I hate it! This has been extremely stressful and the enemy has been putting horrible thoughts in my head because of it. I have this horrible fear that something is going to happen to her because of this infection. I know in my heart that this is not true. It's a battle that I'm dealing with right now and the Lord is giving me strength to over come it. We know that God has made her perfect in His sight and He knows her every need. It is apparent that His hand is upon her. We thank Him daily for healing her first infection and pray and beg Him to heal this one SOON and to take the blood tumor away now! We are confident that He is going to heal Kate. We believe He can, for He still works miracles today and has already worked them in Kate's life. This is not too big for our God. We will continue to lay this down at His feet and wait ever so patiently for her healing. I can't say that this is a test of our faith because we do believe and trust in Him. This is continuing to strengthen our faith and we know that this is going to be an amazing testimony to Kate one day. The Lord is going to heal her once again and we can't wait to share that with her and all of you. I am asking for those who believe to continue to pray for Kate and her healing and if you would also pray for Chris and I. To not be discouraged, for strength, peace and rest. I am tired. Not because I'm not getting enough sleep. Kate has been sleeping through the night for 6 weeks now. This is completely draining me. The worry, nerves, anxiousness...it's all catching up with me. I have been the only one doing diaper changes (Chris does them every now and then). I am just really particular with how to care for her wound and want to be consistent with it. So there is my heart. I am begging for prayer for our family. Thank you in advance for being on your knees for us. We are 3 months into this battle and look forward to the day when our baby is healed! It will be soon! We believe!