As much as we were ready for this day, I was not prepared for the heartbreak that would come with it. My dad is at the City of Hope Hospital which is for cancer patients only. It is devastating to see how many people are affected by this disease. As we walked the halls we noticed that most of the beds were filled with very sick patients, most with no hair. It is so hard to understand. I won't even begin to question or ask God why people have to go through this. One day this will all make sense, just not on this side of eternity.
|right before surgery|
|tired after 6 hours in a waiting room|
|strained a muscle in my neck, couldn't move!|
The first time I saw my dad tonight was as he was getting rolled out from recovery and into his room. It was horrible. I've never seen my dad in a hospital or seen him sick. Tonight I saw him laying in a hospital bed extremely swollen and in an incredible amount of pain. It killed met. I have tried to be strong and the Lord has given me an amazing amount of peace but that doesn't mean this doesn't hurt my heart. I stood by him and tears filled my eyes and I looked at my daddy laying there in pain. I so wanted to help him feel better. All of this sort of didn't seem real until today. I wanted to click my heels and have us all back at home together, in no pain. I have so many friends who have been down this road. I never really know how heartbreaking it was until tonight. It's reality and it sucks.
Bring me joy, bring me peace
Bring the chance to be free
Bring me anything that brings You glory
And I know there'll be days
When this life brings me pain
But if that's what it takes to praise You
Jesus, bring the rain