Monday, March 12, 2012

Getting ready to say goodbye

I am pretty sure I was just sitting here writing about telling my grandpa goodbye. It hasn't even been 4 months and this morning I walked into my grandma's place and had to do it all over again. This came totally unexpected and I don't think any of us were ready for this. My precious grandma took a really bad fall in her room at 4:30am on Saturday morning. She cut her head open and received 14 staples along with 3 deep stitches, the CT scan also shows that her brain is bleeding. Her body is frozen from Parkinsons and now she has stopped eating. Let me just say that when I walked in and saw her this morning, my heart broke all over again. I sat by her side all day, holding her hand and telling her stories. She would smile every now and then and gripped my hand. I knew that she was hearing me. I sat there and prayed quietly for the Lord to give her some strength to talk to me. 5 hours later she opened her eyes, saw me and smiled. In her sweet voice she said "Hi honey!" She kissed my hand over and over again and told me that she loved me. I assured her that we are all going to be ok and told her that grandpa is up in Heaven just waiting for her. She smiled and I told her over and over again how much I love her and said, "grandma when you get to Heaven will you send me a sign" Her response was precious, "I will if I can honey." My grandpa sent many and I can't tell you the peace it brought us even though we already knew where he was. All of her girls have released her and told her that it's ok to go, she's just waiting on her son who will be there tomorrow. She is ready to go, she is so ready to be set free and be back with grandpa and all her loved ones who have gone before us.
Pulling myself away from her bedside was so incredibly hard. I wanted to curl up next to her and be there with her, to love on her, take care of her and make a few more memories before she leaves this earth.
I am once again reminded how precious life is and how short our time is here on earth. She is about to enter eternity into Heaven and I couldn't be more thrilled for her.

Our hearts are in a bunch of pieces and we are going to miss her more than words can say BUT we will rest and rejoice in knowing that she will be with Jesus in Heaven with her Maker. I know that this pain we are feeling will only be temporary because we will all be reunited again before we know it. We have experienced so much loss as a family in such a short time. It's still hard to believe that we lost grandpa and I can't even wrap my mind around the fact that we are about to lose grandma.
My prayer is for peace to flood our hearts like a roaring river. We need it so bad. I know that we're all going to be ok. This is all part of the Lord's plan and He is going to give us exactly what we need but my goodness this is hard!
I left her room knowing that it was probably the last time I would see her and talk to her on earth and tears streamed down my face as I closed the door behind me.
 I am not good at good byes so instead I'll say.
 Aloha, until I see you again in Paradise my precious grandma.

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