Skip to main content

My box.

If you read my previous post you will know that I've been doing a lot of thinking recently. Not just on how to figure out how to make teething as easy as possible naturally but thinking long and hard about my life. I'm going to dig down DEEP so grab an iced tea or a warm late' if you're in the snowy midwest!

Life is busy and messy and loud and lonely at our house these days. You're thinking, two kids and you're lonely? Yeah. I am. My sweet husband is working way too many hours for me to even try to count right now with him being an accountant. This is not the happiest time of the year. Thank God for sunshine. He's also in grad school full time so those two combined means he is never home. It's hard for all of us, especially since we are a tight knit family and we love spending time together. I adore my husband, our babies love their daddy almost more than anyone in the world and he loves all of us just as much. So, its hard when our hearts desire is to be with one another and it's not possible. I could go on but you get the picture, especially those of you who have spouses away with work or war. It's not easy, especially with two little ones. 

These past couple weeks have really worn on me. To the point of tears daily and being so lonely my heart just hurt. I cried out to the Lord all throughout the days asking for my joy to be restored, for a my a smile to be put back on my face and to just be genuinely happy again. I literally felt like a sob story...which if you know me is so not like me. I felt sorry for myself. Awkward. But I did.

A couple of nights ago I stood in my shower and cried my heart out, like wept. 
{side note: the shower is the best place to cry}

I said, LORD! FILL ME UP! I want my JOY back, I want to LOVE like you LOVE and LIVE the LIFE that You have for me! I want to be the best wife and mom, and daughter, sister and friend that I can be! But Lord, this is HARD!

I cried some more & then was just still, I let the water pour down on my face & it was if He was whispering to me... 
"My child, walk through these waters with Faith in Me and I will see you through..." 
That was it. I have been depending on my husband and my children and loved ones around me to satisfy my needs, to fill me up with joy and everything else and HELLO they're all human and whether they mean to or not, they will fail us.

My heart has done a 180 since that shower cry fest. It's like the Lord picked me up off the ground during a thunderstorm and placed me in the flower fields. No, things aren't perfect nor will they ever be but He has changed the tune of my heart strings and I am having to make a choice daily to depend on Him throughout the day in every circumstance that I come across.

This morning at Bible study it all came together. We are wrapping up a Beth Moore study and she was talking about our most treasured moments and our treasure box. The treasure that has been in my box recently hasn't been pretty. I've been carrying around frustration, sadness, loneliness, and stress. And I've been sharing all that crap with the ones I love. You know happy wife, happy life. Or if mom ain't happy, ain't nobody happy. COME ON, life is too short and ain't nobody got time for that! It was such an encouragement to me to really think about my attitude, the words that are coming out of my mouth and the way I respond to certain situations. I'm working on filling my treasure box up with truth, joy, promises, and sweet sweet memories. I want to hold them close to my heart and be a woman who truly cherishes and savors each day, even when they aren't the best and be a light to my family and the world around me. 

We've only got one shot and tomorrow isn't promised so starting today I am choosing JOY.

What's in your treasure box that you're carrying around?


Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Celebrating 10 years..

Chris and I celebrated our 10 year wedding anniversary on October 6th! We celebrated today by spending the entire afternoon and evening together, kid free.  I found a killer deal for couples massages on Groupon and learned that if a deal looks too good to be true, it is.  Things we've learned after 10 years of marriage; don't take yourself too seriously, laughter is the secret to a good time and chocolate makes everything ok. 

Trust your gut

If you've followed me on Instagram for a while you've seen that I've been struggling with pain, nausea and some other lovely side effects every single time I put something in my mouth. 😭I've been in the ER, to a specialist and was about to go in for a hidascan before I canceled it 20 hours before I was to go in.  I was uneasy about the scan in the first place. I knew it was going to show issues with my gallbladder. I had every symptom. I also knew that the next step after the scan was surgery to remove my gallbladder. I know it's an organ that isn't quite necessary but being a mom with 4 small babes, surgery wasnt the best option.  I mean it would be nice to have an excuse to lay around for a bit but let's be real, that wouldn't even happen. 🤦🏼‍♀️ #momlife I felt this super strong thing come over me the morning before to scan telling me to cancel it and change my lifestyle a bit.  I love food y'all. That's no surprise. I have 17 pounds to lose to…

TwistShake Baby

Our sweet Sophie Mae is just starting to take a bottle like a pro. You know where I can finally run some errands kid free and not stress about her starving because she only likes the boob.  I've been giving her a bottle 3x a day, the main one being at bedtime to ensure she gets a belly full because sleep is a good thing!  We are in a good transition and I plan to stop nursing when she's around 9 months old.  I've collaborated with TwistShake Baby! They are a company out of Sweden and they make the most awesome Baby bottles. 
Check this out!  Their products are..
-BPA-free polypropylene plastic.
-Anti-colic nipple.
-The super-mixer that resolves any lumps in the formula, and is also perfect to have naturally infused fruit water.
-Container to store powder, fruit, crackers etc. These are also stackable. Perfect when you are on the go or just want to prepare for next meal!
-Very easy to clean and easy gripping with its exceptional design.
-Sparkling colors! With more than one bottle you…